Any woman exuding sexiness combined with only a measly amount of brains and common sense can have the world by the proverbial tail. There’s no shortage of women but good-looking girls are in demand in every nook and cranny of every city of America. It’s exactly why beautiful strip club entertainers are a rarity. So, when you do come across a dancer here and there who has the physical qualities to grace some area other than a man’s crotch; you better ask yourself which of her dysfunctions you’re willing to suffer.

When my pals and I walk into any shopping mall, inevitably, I’m able to point out the topless dancers with uncanny certainty. Typically, my buddies will elbow me when they spot a good-looking girl prancing through the mall with “She’s a stripper, isn’t she?”  They’re almost always wrong. Most guys interpret the blond bombshell with hyper-inflated boobs, and a tight ass; outfitted in the “too-short” top and “body-hugging” shorts while bouncing on five-inch heels as a nighttime pole dancer. Not so, say I. First of all, most strippers know better than to brazenly identify themselves to the straight community as sex workers. There are zero benefits to being stared at as the center act of a shopping mall freak show.

Second, today’s and even yesteryear’s strippers are basically plain looking with very average readings on the attractiveness scale. My educated guess is that eighty percent of strip club dancers rate no more than a six on the beauty bar. Of the remaining twenty percent, virtually all of them hover between two and three, meaning you will hope they pass you by whether you’re in a strip club or a public restaurant. The remaining tiny portion, the one half of one percent of all entertainers are attractive enough to do most anything it wishes.

The drop-dead gorgeous pole dancers know from their own personal experience to dress down when going out in public. Over-sized sweats or frumpy pants and large hats are the costumes of the day for these Princesses of the Poles. The last thing these girls want is more attention.

After a full night of idolization and applause by salivating

Candi and Dandi are, hands-down, the sparkling sisters of Glitter Gulch. If their natural beauty isn’t enough, their portrayal of lesbian lovers creates an even more intriguing aspect to this act. Any number of strippers pair up inside a strip club and behave as a girl-on-girl show. They either know instinctively or from Howard Stern’s hugely popular radio show that men adore watching lesbians or jumping in between them. Girls who bring a four-breast act to strip clubs tend to earn more than a single, solitary ass.These two pursuers of higher education pull off the best stripper duet I’ve ever come across. It is the perfect performance that makes Candi and Dandi the most prolific money earners on their way to becoming multi-millionaires – if they last a littlelonger.Candi is perfectly suited to play the role of the dumb blonde…the dumbest blonde of all-time. She certainly has the body for it plus she dresses herself in frilly pink, see-thru nighties that barely cover her ass and lacy G-string. She’ll giggle and flirt with the customer, coyly stroking his face or “accidentally” laying a hand on her guy’s lap with an “Oops, I didn’t mean to touch your privates.” Oh, she is the smartest dumb blonde.The perfect partner, of course, is played by